The Goblin Game
This isn’t a game. It’s a vertical meltdown disguised as one. Climb as a gripless goblin in the most unforgiving platformer of the decade.
Adventure
Released
22 May 2025
1 year ago
N/A
VGDB Score
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83%
6 user reviews
Overview
Summary
This isn’t a game. It’s a vertical meltdown disguised as one. Climb as a gripless goblin in the most unforgiving platformer of the decade.
Description
About This Game
About
The Goblin Game is an unforgiving rage-platformer where your only goal is to go up, and the world wants nothing more than to drag you back down.
Play as a miserable goblin scaling the cursed cave system known as The Crag. There are no checkpoints and no safety nets. Every jump matters. Every fall is punishment. Progress is a test of patience, precision, and sheer stubbornness.
If you fall, you start again.
If you scream, you’re doing it right.
Features:
Two Playable Goblins
Choose between Fritz the Fizzlewump, nimble, twitchy, and barely competent, or Blort the Bloat, a lumbering abomination who turns basic locomotion into an act of war against common sense. Controlling Blort feels like steering a fridge full of soup off a cliff. Every jump is an argument. Every landing is a miracle. He doesn't move. He collides with the concept of movement.
Handcrafted Vertical Level Design
Climb through a single-shot, hand-sculpted nightmare full of precarious ledges, rickety goblin bridges, and physics-defying rocks. No loading zones. Just one continuous climb. One slip and it's a long way down.Brutal, No-Mercy Philosophy
There are no saves. No midpoints. Every mistake has consequences. Every fall is final. It’s not just a challenge, it’s a gauntlet of suffering disguised as a game. You’ve been warned.
