Paddlenoid
Greetings, fellow human! Think you're a one-pod wonder? Break through 33 chaotic levels, take down 3 bosses, and bend the galaxy to your will. Play solo or with a friend. Just remember: ignore the glitch crystals!
Action
Released
18 Mar 2026
This year
PC
N/A
VGDB Score
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100%
6 user reviews
Overview
Summary
Greetings, fellow human! Think you're a one-pod wonder? Break through 33 chaotic levels, take down 3 bosses, and bend the galaxy to your will. Play solo or with a friend. Just remember: ignore the glitch crystals!
Description
About This Game
You, an average human, crash-landed in an alien jungle. But you made it out alive, thanks to your trusty escape pod.
Together, you'll travel through the jungle in search of a city where you can (hopefully) launch back into space. Many trials and tribulations await! You'll face 33 unique levels and battle two guards before you're tested by our glorious empress DOHRA herself!
This game plays like a brick breaker, but with your home galaxy at stake!
TILT THE GALAXY
To smaller brained humans, tilting the galaxy may seem impossible. But in Paddlenoid, curving spacetime is trivial. We bind this function to your controller, mouse, or keyboard, whatever your preference.
Curving spacetime alters the future of your pod, which can be understood as simply another way to guide it.
FEATURES
Single-player or two-player local (couch) coop. Control spacetime together, what could go wrong?
Tilt your galaxy to guide your escape pod. A brick breaker with straight lines? What is this, the 80s?
Play with 3, 5, or 7 pods in reserve... or in alternate realities... same difference.
3 different episodes with a total of 33 levels and 3 boss fights. Test yourself against our empress DOHRA!
An engaging story with multiple endings. In at least one of these endings, your species survives!
You are definitely not helping the alien fleet take control of your galaxy. Just felt that should be clarified.
ABOUT US
Paddlenoid was made by a typical human enterprise in a mid-sized concrete colony, working tirelessly to present you with amusing pocket realities. We're motivated solely by your enjoyment and the irresistible pull of Earth's currency. This game was manufactured in just 274 Earth orbits around its star.
No humans were seriously harmed during the making of Paddlenoid. There's no reason to look into it further. Just use your brain to create entropy and endorphins.
... And don't forget to ignore the glitch crystals!
